The Law of Magnetism
By Robert Murray
The Law of Magnetism: “In most situations, you draw people to you who possess the same qualities you do. Who you are is who you attract. If you want to attract better people, become the kind of person you desire to attract.”
Growing a business is tough work. Anyone that tells you different is wrong and/or shortsighted. From my perspective, growing a business includes growing people. This means it’s about teaching, coaching, and leading.
To grow a business, you need help along the way and this involves empowering others to do the work that needs to be done to move the organization forward. In our case, our goal is to build a 100 year company, to build something with meaning that affects people for generations in a positive way. This means we need to hire the right people to help us get there.
I made an assumption as Intrigue started to grow — I assumed that people are rational. This assumption meant that if you found a process that would lead to success within a role, and for the person in that role, that the person would respond to the training and follow the process by the book to lead to their success.
I have since learned that this assumption is completely WRONG. People, myself included, are not rational. It took time to realize this, and even more time to figure out how to deal with it.
In 2012, I went to work every day and found myself getting frustrated by what people were doing around me. They weren’t following our process, some were publicly announcing their YouTube consumption habits during work hours, some were consistently late, others dressed unprofessionally, yada, yada, yada. I was frustrated. I thought to myself, “Why are these people acting this way? Do they not understand that they will not be successful, and that they are setting a poor example for others?”, and then I thought the fatal question, “Why aren’t THEY acting the way they should?”
Later in the year, someone asked me if I wanted to participate in a leadership group that would study John C Maxwell’s book, 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership. I had just seen John C Maxwell speak at a Leadercast event and thought it would be worthwhile to be in a room with other like-minded leaders who were investing time to grow themselves.
Then I read the book.
The first eight laws described in the book were enlightening and taught me perspectives I had not thought of before and were in line with my leadership values.
Then the ninth law kicked me in the balls!! As I read through the Law of Magnetism, it became very apparent to me what the source of my frustrations were at work — it was all because of me!
In short, the law of magnetism states a few key principles:
- You draw people to you who possess the same qualities you do. Who you are is who you attract.
- If you want to attract better people, become the kind of person you desire to attract.
- People are acting in way that either you have modeled or you are willing to settle for.
This meant that I was the issue. It meant that I was acting in a way that attracted the people around me, and that was why I was frustrated. (Like I said, KICK IN THE BALLS!)
Despite this revelation, there was a light at the end of this tunnel. I now understood the issue which meant that I could change it. It meant that I could begin to act differently and raise the standards in myself in order to raise the standards of those around me. So that is exactly what I did.
#1- I started dressing professionally. Not because I wanted to, but because it demonstrated expectations that we need to dress professionally. This also made it a lot easier to give people feedback when they were not dressed appropriately. (This particular change was only temporary as, I found out later, my new style of dress made me intimidating to some people and that was not what I was aiming for. For that period of time, it was necessary.)
#2- I started giving people feedback straight up. If someone announced they watch YouTube, I took them aside and made it clear that this was unacceptable behaviour and it was not welcome at Intrigue.
#3- I started making sure I was always on time for meetings and I gave people feedback when they were late.
#4- Paul and I built ‘Leader Building’. Leader Building is a weekly program that has built a habit for our team to continue to learn about the philosophies of our organization by reading books that have shaped the way we do things. This has helped to align our values and our culture.
By raising the standards of ourselves, we can raise the standards of those around us. If you are frustrated with your team, then maybe it’s time to look in the mirror and give yourself a once over to see what you’re modeling or settling for. It is a difficult exercise, but it’s well worth it.
Today, I go to work excited to be around the team at Intrigue, they inspire me and make me want to be a better me.
