The Power of Nice
By Robert Murray
In a world of Donald Trumps, Enron Scandals, and bank bailouts, it’s easy to perceive the business world as being full of self-serving corporate executives willing to do anything to make the next buck.
In the book The Power of Nice, written by Linda Kaplan Thaler & Robin Koval, an argument is made for bringing care, empathy, and compassion into the everyday business environment. The authors do an incredible job of positioning ‘being nice’ as a strategic advantage — not for the sake of getting ahead, but rather, for the sake of doing what’s right to make the world a better place to work and live.
Here are a few of my takeaways from this simple, yet powerful read:
1. At the end of the day, business is between people.
The best pitch, business case, or idea is one about people. In the book, the authors tell a story about a doorman that lights up the days of people entering and exiting their office with his jovial nature and warm-hearted smile. This doorman made people so happy that, one day, as a multimillion dollar deal was being signed, the client remarked about the doorman being a part of the reason for his decision to work with the agency. It goes to show you that, even with a huge deal, a smile and a warm introduction from one human to another can make all the difference.
For me, this means being intentional about creating positive impressions in my everyday interactions. You don’t need to change everything you do to be nice every day. Try smiling at a stranger, holding the door open for someone, or being patient and listen to a team member walk through an idea. Little things go a long way.
2. Nice is putting someone else’s needs at the same level as your own, not above or below.
For me, this was one of the best takeaways. I often associate being nice with placing the needs of others ahead of my own. However, as I continue to place others ahead of myself, I start to stretch thin and become unproductive in different areas of my life — this can even become detrimental to my health.
Saying ‘yes’ to sitting on another Charitable Board means there will be yet another night that I won’t be home for dinner with my family. Saying ‘yes’ to a client meeting at 8:00 am means that I will not be able to participate in our Team Huddle at Intrigue.
Placing someone’s needs at the same level as my own is different. If I place someone’s needs at the same level, that means that I will respect them, I will go out of my way for them, but I will not break for them. Moving forward, I intend to set monthly priorities for myself at Intrigue and use them to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to specific requests from those around me.
This month, my priorities are:
- Coaching & Motivating Our Team
- Building New Clients & Keeping Current Clients
- Learning & Writing
I have reviewed my calendar for the month and everything is now synchronized with these priorities in mind.
3. Positive impressions are like planting seeds.
I believe that being nice is like networking. You can’t expect the world to change because you were nice for a day. Too often, I hear people say, “Networking doesn’t work for me.” or “I went to one of those events and it didn’t really work out.” Networking, like being nice, takes time, commitment, authenticity, and even more time. Building relationships, connecting people to others that will provide value, and bringing value to others is how networking works. For me, this seems to parallel with The Power of Nice. The value of nice comes with time, and it comes without a measuring stick.
My takeaway is to ensure that every applicant to Intrigue is contacted — even if it is to let them know that there are no positions available. Taking the time to acknowledge their interest will let someone know that we appreciate their interest in our organization, we recognize them as an individual, and we value their time and effort.
6 Principles of Nice
1. Positive impressions are like seeds – Any time you do something nice for someone, it is much like planting a seed. These seeds, with time, begin to swell and grow — most often, without you even being aware of it. And almost with mathematical certainty, you will begin to see the fruits of these seeds creating many opportunities for you down the road.
2. You Never Know – When dishing out your pleasantries, it doesn’t pay to be selective. It’s not just your boss’s wife with whom you should be nice, you should make it a habit to be nice to everyone because you never know who they might be.
3. People Change – Much like you don’t know who someone might be, you never know who they might become. If at your office you are only cordial with your co-workers and superiors but not to the guy who takes out the garbage because to you they “have no power”, then you’re limiting yourself. People change. You never know who that person may be in five, 10, or 20 years from now.
4. Nice must be automatic – You can’t fake niceness. People have an amazing ability to ferret out deception, so don’t do it. Being nice must be a part of you. So make sure you practice it on a regular basis. At the shopping centre, with your mailman, in the checkout line. Practice being truly sincere and kind at all times, then it will become a part of you.
5. Negative impressions are like germs – If you think that your treating someone badly because “they don’t matter” has no ill-effect, think again. Your unkindness can spread like a bad case of the flu to others who are in ear or eye shot of your rudeness. For example, how do you feel about someone who you notice is being rude to a waitress? Don’t their actions make you think less of them, even though they hadn’t directed them at you?
6. You will know – Just because no one may have noticed your rudeness or bad behaviour toward someone, or that you’ll never see that person again so no one will know…remember that you will know. Being nice isn’t about constantly carrying around a forced smile or scheming about what you’ll be able to get from a person if you show them kindness. It’s about living it completely in your everyday life.
As I was reading The Power of Nice, the 6 Principles of Nice popped out at me as something to hold on to. So, I Googled it, and found a great summary of the book. Click here to enjoy!
